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I don't have a picture to post here... there is nothing that can speak to this writing..it just is

Why is falling 'in love' so fast and trying to fall 'out of love' so difficult?

It's been months and still my heart is aching.  I've tried everything, I've kept busy, I've changed jobs, I've given up my beloved  company and joined a bigger one to lose myself in the plethora of people, events and schedules. I've travelled, I've invited new people into my life, I've invited new men into my life.. it's not been fair to any of them, I've been cynical and mean, I'm sorry.  My heart is  of full of sadness and am desperately trying to move forward.  I just have this odd feeling that through everything and all of this, we will meet again in the  near future and pick up exactly where we left off and do everything we had planned.

In love should be the tough part, really put the other person and the relationship to the test, spend the time getting to know your heart and it's connection to that  person.  Why does the look of someone physically turn you on? The way they smile the way their eyes twinkle, and soft speech in your ear, that makes you feel as though you are the only one that has ever heard those words from that mouth.

How is it possible to fall in love with someone upon first meeting them?  What forces in the universe have aligned themselves to put this person in your path, and, you both feel the same way?  How do you look at another person for the first time and in that moment, just know.  Know that you knew them already, you knew what their lips were going to taste  like, knew where that kiss was going to take you.  Knew that when they held you, you could stay, loving, holding, touching, like an invisible tie was holding you together no matter where you were.  We could be hours apart and still feel a warmth, a tingle when I thought of him.
See the number on the phone and jump over the desk making sure to catch it before the last ring for fear you won't be able to connect if 'that' connection isn't made.

You must feel like you're reading from a 13yr old's diary.  I'm a long way from 13 and I can't believe I fell so deeply, so quickly.  I simply could not help myself.  I think back to the moment when we first saw each other, he was so handsome, when he reached me and hugged me... I was home.  It, he was perfect.  The conversation was electric and sexy at the same time.  The time flew by, we met for breakfast and were still sitting there by early dinner. If you were watching this as a movie, you would see us in focus, talking, laughing, sneaking kisses, whispering in each others ears, then hugging and laughing again.. we would be in focus and the world around us would be spinning out of control, people in, people out, wait staff filling tables, clearing tables, welcoming new patrons, chairs in, chairs out, the scents of breakfast pastries to dinner meats being cooked on the open flames... and still we sat and loved.

I've never been with anyone that thrilled me as much as he did, the conversation lifted my spirit to a magical level, I was so creative when I was near him. I watched myself closely and kept thinking... 'how can this be real'... at my age I had never experienced this before.  His touch excited me, every time we left each other to go home, my heart ached so badly I cried.  I missed him terribly.  I was not my usual calm, cool and collected self.  I play the 'dating game' really well and he was really messing up my us M.O.   He touched my chest one night, not my breasts, there was nothing sexual about it, he laid his hand just above my breasts while he kissed me.. he was touching my soul.  You can't ever explain this anyone, it just happens, he just did it and it moved my heart and calmed my soul to match his.  It was profound.

He didn't belong to me.  He was married.  He had told me there was no longer anything there between them, and he was working through  a way out without damaging everything.  My usual calm, cool demeanour was having a hard time with the love of my life leaving me to go home to his wife. Over the months I turned into something, someone I had never been before, needy and jealous.  Oh my god, I was a wreck.  Was this a test to see how emotionally mature/secure I was?  If it was it wasn't a fair test.  I went to my home and slept alone, while he went home to his family.

I had to end it.  I couldn't do it any longer, I didn't' like who I had become.  He wanted to remain friends, this is the only thing he never understood about me, I couldn't possibly be 'friends' after what I had experienced, I want it all or I have to walk away.  I couldn't talk to him over the years that I was supposed to be a part of and hear of  his tales of new people or his family, it would tear me apart. I'm not proud of the person I became, I was hurt, I was angry, I was very sympathetic to his wife.. I would not have wanted to be 'a wife' and have my husband be with someone else that he was in love with.  It was  terrible situation for me, for him and for her.  I am so sorry if I made it more difficult.. I love him still and wish with all my heart we could be together.

I hope to see him again someday and when we see each other again just fall into his arms and hold him.  I miss him terribly, I hope he finds what he is looking for and I hope and pray it's me he's looking for,and I pray  he is single this time so we can move forward from where we left off. That would complete my life in the way I hope it would. I believe we have known each other in many other lives and this one we almost made it work. If not in this life, then definitely the next, I will be the one waving the biggest flag.  You won't be able to miss me next time!

I love you

~H

SEX, SEx, Sex, sEX, seX

 not me btw....lol

I mentioned on my FB page HERE , and my last blog that I was seeing a married man.....eeeeee... I know.. read the last blog to better understand..... Anyway... I needed to get away for a bit, so I spent the weekend at a Swinger's Spa... haha what a concept.. people having sex everywhere and calling it a 'Spa'... what would constitute a 'spa' exactly?  No idea, I had to go.  I made my way to Oakville Ontario over the past weekend and partook ..lol.. of the festivities.

I started with a massage.  The man was gorgeous, an actual RT and naked.  I had a hard time relaxing, I was so aroused I couldn't concentrate on napping....then it hit me.. I wasn't supposed to be relaxing, I was supposed to be getting horny.  Well, it worked, I could have masturbated on that table for an hour.  He had the right touch, the right caress, the right slide to his palms, the right smell, my God, there is a smell to sexy  massages.  Can you imagine, lying there being 'rubbed' from top to bottom, and front to back and I smelled like I was having sex.. what a damn turn on...I'm horny now just writing and remembering it!   I was left alone at the end for 20 min or so.  I'm guessing that was so I would give myself a 'happy ending'.. really? That was not going to happen.  I wasn't going to waste this arousal by myself.  I sought a man, or a man and woman or two men, I couldn't handle at this point more than 3 people in the act and I was counting myself as one of them.

The place was full of so many people, most just relaxing and enjoying the pool, the drinks, the music, there seemed to be a rhythm there that was new to me.  People were pacing themselves and obviously on my first visit there they were not going to be using me as the Pace Car.  I jumped in with both feet in an attempt to forget the last 6 months of my life and look for the pot at the end of the sexual rainbow.

I must have had a  look in my eye while I walked around because I was being followed like a Bitch in heat.  There were 6 men vying for attention aged from 27 to 60.   Let the games begin.

I couldn't stop smiling.  I felt amazing.  If I can take that masseuse home with me, I would be in heaven.  My business partner could really 'use' what he did for me... everyday actually.  If I used him everyday I may never have to look for a man again, I would have to explain to him that he would have to 'complete' the job however next time...none of this getting me horny then letting me walk out. No sir-ree bob!

I had a glass of something sweet with a 80% proof smell.  Honestly no one was going to have to get me tipsy to 'get me'.  I was going to take my time to decide what/who I wanted to do.  Time was on my side now, it was only Friday and I was there till early Monday morning.  The spa owners were graciously going to let me interview them for a story I was working on for my book.  Have I mentioned lately how much I love my life?  :)  I ordered some pool side food... a gorgeous fruit and veggie platter.. so refreshing lol I had a bit of a crowd around now..funny how people join a group when I start asking people questions, it turns into a bit of a show..lol.

One man really stood out, he was so adorable, maybe 45 or so, from Australia, here for a year working for a company in Toronto.  He was sort of watching out for me, not crossing any line at all, but making sure no one was pouncing on me.  One man leaned over and asked me if he could kiss me.  The one thing I love about this kind of party is the Royal Etiquette.  No one touches anyone unless permission is given and the woman is in charge.  I 'allowed' shaved head man with great shoulders to kiss me.  He leaned down.. the kiss was sweet but became too eager too quickly, I opened my eyes and saw Aussie man watching.  I broke away from the kiss and jumped in the pool.  Aussie man jumped in after me, let me explain 'jump' in the pool, feet first, nose plugged, I hate going underwater, I never ever got used to it. Once I'm in I'm Ester Williams, but from land INTO water, not graceful at all.  I watched Aussie dive right beside me, and come up at the other end of the pool.  I stayed where I was in the deep end treading while he made his sexy wet way back to me.  We both met at the side and he complimented me on my graceful entrance into the pool. :) He was a gentleman too.  We stayed in the pool for hours, drinks were brought to the side, the fruit platter was brought over, someone threw sunscreen into the pool we both applied to each others above water parts.  We talked and talked and talked. We liked the same music.  That is huge for me, I have a really quirky music set, and he does too. We like the same art, the same movies.  I let him answer all the questions first so he wouldn't be copying me.. funny how careful I feel I've become.  It was time to get out, dry off in the sun.  The dinner bell was rung, everyone had an 90 min to get ready for dinner seating one.  He walked me to my room.. and said 'my I sit with you at dinner'... I said "I would be honoured to meet you and your wife for dinner".... his reply, "I'm here alone, I'm not married"... "well , you will have to prove that to me' and in I went to prepare for dinner.  I cant' possibly tell you 3 days worth of fun in one blog, you will get too bored or too horny.. I have to dole it out to you.....be patient. 

The rest... tomorrow. :)

~!Jane! and interesting start to the rest of my life.

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I was 'The Other Woman'

So no one really knows that much about me yet.  I am single and I play..... I play a lot.  I love meeting new men who might be able to hold my interest for longer than for a few months.  If you can do that then you are an exceptional man in my books.  I'm not just wondering around finding new men to fuck and date or rather to date and fuck, I'm actually searching in my off time for a man who will add to my life.

 I thought I found him 6 months ago but alas, he was married.  I fell in love with him before we actually ever met, ( realizing of course you can not fall in love with someone you've never met, because...well, because you've never met.  I fell in love with the idea of who he could be when I finally meet him)   He was charming, intelligent, shared the same interests as me, was adorable although a little older than he would admit to, which of course makes him very vain.  A trait I'm not keen on. When we met, he told me he was living with his wife although they were not sleeping together.  He still loved her of course, she was the mother of their children, but he wasn't 'in love' with her any longer.  As a spokesperson for a few dating sites, I can tell you a lot of people are in the same situation.  I was with my ex husband for 4 yrs after we had decided to break up because our son was in a car accident and it took 4 yrs to rehabilitate and finish the lawsuit.. so living together is not foreign to me. Neither he nor I dated anyone else while we were going through this time in our family life with one of our children.  It would have been completely disrespectful to each other. I didn't have sex for 4 years.... but I masturbated more than I ever thought possible. :)

He hoped to be able to separate, move on with his life and find a woman that met all of his needs and that he would be in love with, eventually retire and do the things he loved to do; paint, write songs & poetry, play his guitars all the while snug as a bug knowing his 'love' was close by to kiss, hold and have crazy hot sex with.... and supposedly that was me.

 He was good, he talked the talk, but he couldn't walk the walk.  It became evident that his wife didn't have the same plan.  Let's call him Henry... Henry couldn't be with me in the evenings.  We lived a small distance apart so I put it down to a busy work week and not enough time in the day. We would meet in Toronto, about halfway for both of us, go to the Art Gallery, go out for lunch, we met one afternoon at a fabulous  club and spent the time making love.  I would get snippets of what his life was like at home. His wife was really stressed at work and he didn't want to add to her stress by not being there, one of them had crashed  their vehicle and Henry drove his wife to work every morning and picked her up every night... that explained why he was never around in the evenings, he would leave me, smelling of me, tasting of me and go home to his wife.  I asked him to meet me on the weekends, he couldn't.  Of course not, how could he explain to the wife he was separated from that he had a girlfriend.  They went on a vacation together in the early spring, he had told me it was already booked and he 'had' to go.  He promised me he was going to tell her while they were away, so he would be free to be with me more.  Can you spell 'STUPID, STUPID, STUPID' at this point.  Love is fucking blind... I had been dating for 6 years and NEVER would date or fuck a married man and now look where I am. 

Upon his return I asked how the 'talk' went....he didn't bring it up.  She had a migraine most of the time and he didn't want to be accused later of ruining her/their last vacation together.  I took a giant step back and thought about the situation I found myself in.  The problem was I really enjoyed his company, enjoyed the conversations, enjoyed the love making.  Not sure at that point where my heart was.  I had fallen hard at the beginning but the feelings now, as I got to know him were starting to wane.  I would look at him and wonder how much of what he was telling me was real or true.  At that point we were talking everyday, everyday! sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. He would call me in the morning to say 'good morning' again at night to say 'good night'.   How could he possibly have time for anything else?  Everything he said seemed real....but... there was an underlying something, I couldn't put my finger on it.  He would shut his phone off at 6pm at night and not turn it back on till almost midnight, he didn't want any calls or texts from me while he was at home in the evenings, he would wait until she had gone to bed to call me and say good nite. 

One night he called at 5:45 on his way to pick up his wife.  I was furious.  Two things, our calls had been reduced to maybe once a day, he would tell me he was going to call me and not call.   So he was squeezing in a call to me before the end of the day.  I was mad because I was being 'squeezed' in and I thought very badly of him for doing the same to his wife.  I can tell you from experience women tend to stick together, it's the cheating man that is the problem not the women.  He was hiding me from her, and was telling me he was going to leave her.  She and I are on the outside and he is in the middle.

I told him I needed to take a step back to see what I wanted to do.  When I spoke to him again, I said we would see each other as friends, from here on because I didn't want to wait any longer. I needed a month or so away from him before I could see him again.. if ever.

I took some time to be alone.  I had re-constituted my dating profiles, and spoken to a few men and had met a few of them, but I wasn't ready. Four weeks later I sent Henry a text asking if he wanted to meet, I was going into the city to stay overnight for meetings.  He wanted to join me at the hotel.  He didn't get back to me for almost a week.  I went into the city, had my meetings, met Adam, an old friend of mine, one thing led to another and he spent the night with me.  Then I spent the next few days at his place.  It was great to be in the company of someone I knew and enjoyed, we had always been great friends and very compatible in bed. He is much younger than me, so I never want it to go any further... but man oh man, he has stamina. 

When I spoke to Henry next he said he would call me and we would meet the next week... I smiled and nodded knowing he wouldn't remember to do so.  The week went by, he never called.  Honestly at this point, I was long finished hoping there was going to be anything, I just had this need to take it the very end.

The end came yesterday, I was with friends having cocktails, had made plans to go away for the weekend to a swingers club.  I texted Henry to let him know the club was around the corner from his house.  He called me right away.  Was it that is was around the corner or was he upset thinking I was going to a swingers club?  I'll never know and I don't care.  In our conversation he had told me he and his wife were going away in a week to try and make their marriage work.  I am so glad I was a part of all of that.... no, not at all.  I hate that I let myself be dragged into that.  In the time I knew him he had admitted to 4 other affairs in the last 20 yrs.  Always in the back of my head I knew I was the same as the others.  He says he can count them all as his good dear friends and hopes to be able to do so with me.  That  cannot happen.  I do not like or respect him any longer, my 'friends' would never treat me so badly. 

He lied to me, he lies to his wife, he lies to his children, he lies to his co-workers.  I couldn't live like that I don't know how anyone can.  Karma is always watching, and someone will come along someday that he wants to be with, with all of his heart and she will turn her back on him, because she will be smart enough to walk away from a married man.. I wish I had been smart enough. 

I have no respect for a man who cheats on his wife.  There is no reason on this planet to be with someone you say you don't want to be with..there is no reason...period.  Cheating is cheating and it makes you a terrible person.  I left my gorgeous home, my friends, my neighbourhood, my pets, my 'things' because I was sad and wanted to find happiness for myself before I die. I gave up everything to find happiness.  That is the right way to do it.  If one person in a marriage isn't happy, then neither one is going to be.  Both people need to have the balls to stand up and do what is right for each other, bow to each other, have respect for the life you lived together and wish each other good luck. That's love, that's respect.   No matter what the situation, always, ALWAYS take the high road, you will never regret it.

I am heading out to a week end of absolute fun and debauchery.....the married people there are completely out in the open about why they are there...the single people are going to  mingle and mix it up...did I mention I've been hired by a Condom company to 'test drive' their product and write a review on here? lol   I'll do my best .

so looking forward to it.. will fill you in  on Monday 

~ Jane.. a fleeting few months of stupidity not to be repeated again.

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Hurray For BDSM

BDSM..rope, blindfolds, handcuffs, ball gag,

 A provocative article from the Netherlands published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine says people who like to participate in bondage-discipline, dominance-submission, and sado-masochism erotic play are "characterized by a set of balanced, autonomous, and beneficial personality characteristics.”   Hurray for BDSM practitioners.



Practitioners of BDSM report “a higher level of subjective well-being” when compared to people who tend to have more boring forms of sex.

These sexual practices have long been "associated with psychopathology," the paper says. "However, several more recent studies suggest a relative good psychological health of BDSM practitioners."
The results mostly suggest favorable psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners compared with the control group; BDSM practitioners were less neurotic, more extroverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection sensitive, had higher subjective well-being, yet were less agreeable.

The conclusion: BDSM is "recreational leisure," not pathology.

The results suggest fabourable psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners compared with the control group; BDSM practitioners were less neurotic, more extroverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less sensitive to rejection, had higher subjective well-being, yet were less agreeable. 

I am pleased to say I have practiced and played in the BDSM lifestyle most of my life and have always been proud to defend it!

~Jane, relax...let me blindfold you and have my way with you. :)

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One Of The Best Nights Of Sex Ever - My Threesome

I have a Fuck-it List.  And on that list is a three-some.  What is really was, was I wanted to sexplore being with a woman, BUT if I didn't like it I wanted a man there to take over.  Well thought out, well planned and in the bed, well played.

I can't remember a time in my life that I was nervous.  This was it. I knew what I wanted, I wanted to have an orgasm, I wanted to perform oral sex on 'her', I wanted to give her an orgasm, I wanted it to be very erotic, and if I had a choice I would like her to have big breasts.

David was quite attractive, he asked me out, I asked the usual questions.... are you a sexual deviant? .... do you make your own money? ... do you drive and actually own car?.... what is your living situation?.... STOP! he was living with his wife.  I started to walk away and he said.."I'm asking you out to go to our home and meet my wife... I got the sense you wanted to explore something". This man was not only attractive he was clever as well.  "Why yes, in fact I do want to sexplore something".  I needed to prepare, I needed to shave my legs and ...... I told him to get his wife to call me later.  His wife did call, we had a great chat an decided to meet at my place on the weekend.

I had to prepare, fresh sheets, one more pillow, clean the place, make some food, buy some wine, maybe bake some of 'those cookies'.... and consult a friend of mine who had been in this situation many times.  "They sound like they do this all the time, so they will take the lead and basically Jane, if anything passes in front of your mouth.... either lick it or suck it".  Great advice.

I started with some wine.  Then more wine, and.... a little bit more to ease my nerves.  'Ding dong'...they're here.  David looked good, she looked great with gorgeous breasts!   We sat down and got to know each other. David asked a number of times if it was time to go to the bedroom.. OMG! men never change!  She and I laughed and told him to calm down.  She and I got to know each other... laughed about the fact that we each needed to shave our legs before we met...David was bored... we didn't care.   I served a little snack and cocktails.  At some point she leaned over and kissed me, that was the starting gun, it was time to retire to the bedroom.  David had his clothes off before we left the couch.  I got up from the couch and stumbled... oh shit, waaaay too much wine.  I needed to water to now to counteract the alcohol in my bloodstream. more water, maybe a little more. 

Amanda and I took our time in the bedroom,  slowly undressing each other, talking and kissing, David was stroking himself.  He was not going to be able to make it if he didn't slow down. We allowed David to join us now, he started with a deep kiss to me, then a kiss with Amanda.

It was like a well trained orchestra and David was the conductor.  I was well stocked with dildos, rope, blind-folds, anal beads, lubrication, vibrators, massage oil and so on and so on.   He moved effortlessly between Amanda and I kissing, stroking, pinching nipples, we were in a perfect human triangle.  His lips on my pussy, my lips on her pussy, her lips on his cock. We were changing positions based on David's arousal, Amanda was slowly him down.  He was finally allowed to enter me and he was beautiful...perfectly shaped cock, great length and girth for me and he hit my G-spot dead on.  Amanda was kissing me and sucking my nipples.  David turned me over doggy-style and Amanda was her back while I went between her legs.  This all made so much sense, doggy is one of my favourite positions and now I had something to do while I was facing the sheets.. there was a gorgeous woman there.  I was being pleased and I made sure I pleased her.  We kissed and suckled each others breasts.  I came in squirting bliss.  David was so aroused, Amanda doesn't squirt.  He nearly came inside me.  He pulled out quickly to make sure he finished in Amanda, that is 'their' rule. He entered Amanda and I continued kissing her until they both came together.

It was a perfect night.  We all stayed in bed for the rest of the night, we moved around each other all night, once in a while one of us would fall asleep and the other two would play.  The morning came too quickly.  We said our sleepy good byes' at the door.  I smiled constantly for a week.  I finally had had my three-some and had no idea why I waited so long.  We saw each other often.  Amanda went away for the summer and our 3some fun just sort of  faded away.  I didn't want to be with David alone.. not sure how he felt about that, but that was the truth.   My fuck-it list was coming along really well.  NEXT!

~Jane, big smile while I remember that nite.

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Getting the hell out of LA

After deciding to leave Edward and LA behind, I had to think like Jane Smith..SEXPERT   it didn't take me long to decide which direction to go. I needed the ocean, some sun... and wine. I walked out of the lobby that 2 days before I had walked into and was expecting the most amazing 5 days.  Instead my 'lover' was attending his conference and leaving me to my own devices.  Really? I have no problem finding something more fun to do.  I confidently walked up to the first cab... "Where is the ocean from here"?  I wasn't sure if it my Canadian accent or not but he looked at me like I had two heads.  He looked around to see if he was being filmed.. I guess that happens a lot in LA... I said "I need to go to the Ocean, I have no idea where it is from here other than, I'm guessing further West.. what would the closet city be at the ocean"?  He asked "Are you fleeing from someone?" "Yes", I said "a terrible lover".... "ah, ok, I thought there was going to be a car chase here, and I hate those so.. where would you like to go"?  Now I'm looking at him like he has two heads.  I shook my head to try and start over.  He told me Santa Monica was the closet city and it was ocean-side.  Perfect I thought, I've never been to Santa Monica. "Ok, lets go"... "well lady, I'm going to charge you about $100 for the cab...or... see that bus?, it will take you right there for $1.50, I would feel terrible taking your money, and well its' almost lunch time, I have an audition"... Now I'm looking around to see if someone is filming. Get me the fuck out of this city. "Fine, thank you for your help... and good luck with your audition."

Across the street as promised was the bus for $1.50 trip to Santa Monica. With my cute luggage, I traveled for an hour to the Ocean and what a great Ocean with was.  I could splurge on a hotel now after saving $100. However there were no rooms at the Inn... at any Inn for that matter.  Can you imagine what is like to walk around in the boiling sun for hours, dragging my horrible luggage from hotel to hotel only to be turned down over and over again? Now I'm stinky, sun burned, and needed a toilet. My last resort..get it resort? ..lol was a small-ish place across from the pier.  He said the only room he had left was behind reception beside the laundry rooms.  "I'll take it."  "You have to look at it first, to make sure it's suitable before I take your money."  He had no idea how desperate I was , I went back, looked at it, came back..smiled "I'll take it, I'll be here for 4 days."   What a glorious room it appeared to be. 

Freshened up, I plugged my phone in and I took off to explore.  Santa Monica is a beautiful city, fresh, clean, great restaurants, fabulous shopping and the night life was a riot. I spent my first evening at the pier, watching all the sites of a carnival.  The end of the pier was the most fun.  It was packed with all men who were fishing. Lucky me, I love men and I love fishing.  A man let me use his fishing rod, while he went to the bathroom.  He was gone a long time, his buddies were laughing.  "You know he didn't go to bathroom....he visits a hooker under the pier."  "Oh... well then he will likely catch something before me."   I fished to my hearts content. 

I made my way back to my hotel, stopping at every licensed establishment.  Upon arrival at my room, my phone was blinking.  I listened to Edwards plaintive messages, 'where was I, why had I left, was I coming back'.... it only took him 9 hrs to realize I was gone.  I was happy with my decision to head to SM, instead of spend another day in LA.   I texted him back to let him know I was in SM, and said he was more than welcome to join me in my awesome room beside the hotels' laundry room...lol.. he said he might be able to make it down in a couple of days.  My response.."it's ok Edward, this time together did not go as we had planned, it's fine. Good luck in your conference, I don't see any point in seeing each other again."  Time for me to move on.  Unfortunately I hadn't brought any toys with me...expecting a 6'3" man who didn't require batteries.. dammit!  I tried to sleep, for some reason they do hotel laundry alllllll night long :(   I couldn't get the zipper to my luggage open, I had to get scissors from the front desk to cut it open.  So I could access my treasures inside, like my toothbrush. Now I needed new luggage.  I might send Edward a bill for my added expenses. It could only go up hill from here. 

The next day I planned on walking to Venice beach, man is it hot here.. the sun was beating down relentlessly... hotter still on the beach with each little tiny grain of sand reflecting the sun back up from below.  I walked in the surf instead.. it was fucking glorious.  Did I mention I had the cutest sundress on , no underwear, and clearly see-through.  I look across the beach and spotted a man in a fabulous suit standing at the canteen that sells water... I suddenly felt very thirsty. I made my way over to the canteen, I looked at the man, he looked at me.  I had a great conversation with the guy  who ran the canteen the suited man said nothing...... oh well his loss.  I took my water and continued down the boardwalk.  I made it 100ft or so before I thought my flip flops were melting on the wooden trail. I sat down on a the closet empty bench, kicked off my flip flops, hiked up my dress, pushed my sunglasses back on my head and leaned back and closed my eyes to really take in the sounds and smells of the ocean.   I could have been there all day.  Without warning the sun was blocked and there in front of me was suited man.  "Hello" he said...without looking up... 'hi... why on earth are you in a suit on the beach?".... "I'm head of security for this hotel"... oh great I thought, it's a private beach and he's kicking me out.. no way.. I've found the perfect spot to forget Edward and LA and I wasn't going to leave.  "I wanted to talk to you when you bought your water but I was tongue tied.. I've never seen a woman with so much confidence and comfortable in her own skin before"... for a tongue tied man he was pretty talented.. 

"you don't see confident women on Venice beach..are you kidding me?" ... "all of them are vain..that's different"... he said... good answer I thought.  I told him I bought water because I wanted a closer look at the handsome man in a suit on the beach... he didn't believe me.. I opened my backpack and showed him the two full bottles I already had inside.. no his confidence was building.   It was clear we were attracted to each other. He sat with me, we talked for an hour.  What a sweet heart. He lives just outside of SM.  He gave me his pass to the hotel bar and pool and we agreed to meet when he was finished his shift.   We spent the next 4 days together, it was wonderful, he took me everywhere and showed me the sites.  We spent every night in the ocean followed by dinner and the rest of the night in his apt. What a glorious lover he was. I hadn't missed a beat. Jane Smith the Sexplorer has discovered an amazing man on the west coast. You just never know when/where you are going to meet someone so compatible.  He drove me to airport on the my last day. We spoke everyday while I was back home, I flew back a month later and stayed with him for two weeks.  One of the best holiday's I've ever had.  We continue to talk everyday although we are 3,000 miles apart.  His name is Eduardo... really it is. I exchanged one Ed for another, both from Spain... the universe has a great sense of humour.  I love it. 

~ Jane, the luckiest woman in the world!

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From Coast to Coast and Cock to Cock

ah...Edward.

Edward works in NYC for a major publishing house.  He was transferred to NY from their Madrid office.  Honestly I don’t need to say anymore.  Spanish, gorgeous, tall, smart, well off, divorced, sexy as hell. We met online because his profile said Toronto. He was being asked to move to Toronto to take over a portion of their company in Canada.  We talked for ages on the phone, and via Skype.  My first ‘cyber affair’.  It was one of the best relationships I had ever had and we hadn’t met yet.  We talked everyday, wrote emails, woke up and went to sleep with each other.  We would Skype through the day while we were each at work, just have it on and share our days together. I would go to the post office and there would be random gifts sent from NY, a book, a necklace he had found at a market, a print, fun things from Manhattan just to make my day fun and sexy. He decided not to take the job in Canada, so our affair continued through space for another 2 yrs. We each continued to date other people because...well because... we were both horny people and weren’t going to live without sex in our lives. We would share our dating stories together and laugh as how some people just didn’t get ‘us’.  We had a great friendship. 

The time had come to meet.  We decided we would go away together for few days.    He sent me a ticket to join him in LA. He had a conference to go to and would book off 5 days of it to be with me.  Jane the Sexplorer  was on the road again. I was picked up at the airport, taken to the hotel.  He was standing in the lobby waiting for me. God he was gorgeous and 6’3”  never looked so tall before. We hugged forever, he took my bags and we went upstairs, it was a whirlwind. He opened the door, dropped my bags and took me to the bed where we absolutely ravaged each other for the entire day... on the bed, on the floor, in the shower, on the vanity, up against the window for the neighbours to watch...whoops.... We had room service and started all over again.  I was exhausted, sore and oh so satisfied.  He had a beautiful body that I explored at my leisure.  I adore mens bodies.  Their 5 0‘clock shadow, shoulders, arms, hands, firm chest, and that wonderful trail of body hair leading down to their beautiful cocks.  The magic of the first touch of new c*ck, it is either fully erect and throbbing already or it’s softer, just waiting for my touch.... and my touch is magic.  A light stroke, a light hot lick and kiss and the c*ck starts to take on a life of it’s own, the blood rushes up and expands the girth and length and all of a sudden I am holding a hot throbbing piece of pleasure in my hand that at point, the rest of the man attached will let me do what ever I want. Well a smart man will let me do whatever I want.  Guaranteed my pleasure will give you pleasure. And Edward was very patient with me and let me explore him from top to bottom....... and back again.  I’m a fairly dominant lover and really I’ve never had anyone complain about how I play and play and play.... and Edward is a smart man.  We tousled a few times over control but that generally just heightened the experience. He was hard for 8 hours, off and on.  A beautiful c*ck indeed.

Night had fallen in LA, he got up out of bed and said he had to attend the cocktail party and would be back as soon as he could.  He left. I got a text at 10pm saying he was staying a bit longer.  I left the room and went out for dinner.  I arrived back at midnight and he wasn’t back yet. I went to bed alone. I woke up in the middle of the night to him coming in and falling asleep. How did my 2 yr affair turn so quickly into a 25 yr marriage.  What the fuck. In the morning he said he had to attend the conference again for a few hours..‘sorry, sorry’.. I went out sight seeing a bit. By dinner still no word from him.  I went back to the hotel.  He had been back in the room and changed, but no word from him still.  Not sure what happened to spending 5 days together, but I had more contact with him when I wasn’t standing in front of him.  Was he disappointed in our meeting? I had no idea what was going on, but my idea of being with him didn’t include being alone from morning till night, then to sleep beside someone without talking. I’d been there 2 days, we hadn’t shared meal yet, I was visiting the city alone, and worst of all I didn’t like LA.  Whatever was going on, I didn’t like it. I didn’t see any point in talking about it,  his actions were speaking louder than words.

I packed my bags, wrote a note and left the hotel.  Ok, what does one do when they’ve flown 3,000 miles across the country and have 4 days left before the flight home? For me it meant going further west and staying somewhere on the ocean.  The ocean always makes me happy.  A new adventure awaits....

 ~Jane, getting the hell out of LA.


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